Kurt Cobain: The Doll

It doesn't bode well when a press release includes a phrase such as, "While Kurt Cobain may no longer be part of the corporeal world" (May). Doesn't seem like the folks who wrote that could be up to anything great. They could be headed to Paranormal Cringeville: "Our finest psychics, tarot readers, clairvoyants, fire dancers, and aromatherapists will contact Kurt to ask what messages he has for those of us still living in the corporeal world. We'll also discover how his spirit smells. A reproduction of this scent will be available for only $250 per quarter ounce collector's edition bottle for a limited time only!" Or they could be zooming, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200, toward Tacky Product Land, but minus the contacting-Kurt angle. That's the case here:

While Kurt Cobain may no longer be part of the corporeal world, his words, voice, music, and attitude can still be felt today thanks to the full albums, videos, and unheard of amount of bootlegs left behind. Sure, there are still some songs here and there that diehard Nirvana fans may have not been able to get in its finest form of clarity, and we are still waiting for an official DVD release that catalogs all their music videos, but the one thing that many fans have been asking for and have never received in ANY form, official or not, is an action figure.

Just because "many fans" ask for something -- I'll give the benefit of the doubt that that's true -- doesn't mean they should have it. Would Cobain have wanted such a thing? If he was able to decide for himself, perhaps he'd want to know more about this doll version of himself before rendering an opinion.

The action figure is based on Cobain's appearance in the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video, "rendered in painstaking detail", comes with a guitar and part of the gym floor as its base. The press release headline is "Kurt Lives", and seeing his tiny doll doppleganger, I suppose you might almost think he was alive, except for the part where it's just a tiny inanimate plastic version of him (that oddly doesn't look that much like him) and not, like, an actual living Cobain. I wouldn't file this under evil, but it strikes me as tacky.

Weird Al Yankovic - Smells Like Nirvana (from Off The Deep End)

When asked about Weird Al's parody in an MTV interview, Kurt Cobain said:

"Oh, I laughed my ass off. I thought it was one of the funniest things I ever saw. He has some good people working for him. Those people really know how to... I mean, I'm sure he has a lot to do with it, but they really know how to reproduce things to the T. He had the exact same setup. It's the same video with him in it. It's great."

Also, in a posthumously-published diary entry, Cobain referred to Yankovic as the closest thing America has to punk rock.

Also on the way: a Freddie Mercury action figure with motion-activated sound. It's "Based on his appearance from memorable concert [sic] at Wembly Stadium 1986".

Mercury is action-figure-worthy for many reasons, but chiefly because "With a versatile musical sound-scape and a voice that could make a pack of dingos keep from eating babies, Freddie Mercury lead Queen into a spot in the lore of Rock music that no other band will ever come close to taking."

Would Mercury have liked the idea of an action figure version of himself? Maybe...