MP3s are shared to try to convince people they should like the same music I do (As in... "then she told a friend, and she told a friend...) Of course if you love music, you should (responsibly) spend lots of your disposable income on music, concerts, and merch. If you are an artist or from a label, and would like a song removed, please e-mail me at kofis.hat [at] gmail [dot] com and I'll promptly do so.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Grammatically Incorrect But So Much Stronger Than Us
Sweet relief comes from a 1990 compilation album called The Edge Of Rock. I'm not sure how many of the tracks were on the edge of rock then, let alone now:
1. Camper Van Beethoven - "Pictures of Matchstick Men" 2. Lucinda Williams - "I Just Wanted to See You So Bad" 3. Dinosaur Jr - "Just Like Heaven" 4. Winter Hours - "Roadside Flowers" 5. Close Lobsters - "Lovely Little Swans" 6. Syd Straw - "Future 40's" 7. Mary's Danish - "Can I Have a Smoke, Dude?" 8. Meat Puppets - "Light" 9. The Lemonheads - "Luka" 10. Wire - "In Vivo"
The Camper Van Beethoven, Dinosaur Junior, and Lemonheads songs were much too popular to be merely on the edge of rock; the same probably goes for the one by Wire. They were major alternative (or as the kids called it "modern") rock hits, and that's not edgy, man. No way. My grandma listened to modern rock hits. Well, she might have... okay, my grandma probably didn't, but plenty of grandmas probably did. Camper was covering an old-timey hit; that's custom-made for cross-generational appeal.
My favorite track on the album is the breezy, tartly nostalgic one performed and co-written by Syd Straw and REM's Michael Stipe. On Edge, it's titled "Future 40's". On Straw's 1989 album, Surprise, the song is called "Future 40's (String of Pearls)". I was surprised when I found out about the different titles. I prefer "Future 40's", although I'd like it more without the possessive apostrophe.
Whatever it's called, it's a beautiful song. As usual, Stipe takes his "side" work no less seriously than his work with R.E.M. His vocals, somewhat more serious and emotional than Straw's, are more the song's heartbeat for me. I do love the way they harmonize together, and I love both of their performances on the song.
I was surprised again when I saw the cover art for the single. Yikes. There is a gigantic disconnect between the cover and Straw and Stipe's lovely song. They could have done better with that random flickr CD cover art meme, if they could figure their way around certain time-space barriers, seeing as how flickr wasn't around yet and such.
The video was a more pleasant surprise. Yes, I searched for it, by name. Still, I didn't expect to find it. The video is disappointingly Stipe-light. However, as the person who posted it points out, it's heavy on Athens scenery. Plus, Straw gets into retro-character in a "square", old-fashioned dress and apron as she bakes a pie and lip-syncs the song:
"Hey man I'm making moves and I am so much stronger than you. I am so much stronger, I am so much stronger than you."
During R.E.M.'s 1989 Green tour, right before "I Believe", Stipe apparently often sang lines from "Future 40's". So I'm guessing this video is from one of those concerts. (Note: the first lines are from a poem - possibly one Stipe wrote.)
Stipe's side projects are often so interesting and good. Perhaps once he's rested up from touring in support of (the excellent) Accelerate, he'll work on another one or two... Straw is rumored to plan on releasing a CD this year. And the future still looks more or less like the 40s. (Pastel refrigerators... that's 1950s, right? We're getting closer.)
While many fads, songs, foods, and television programs have international appeal, many others at best, win over "a small-but-devoted following" outside their country of origin.
On Record Day, while browsing in the German music section at Amoeba in Hollywood, I noticed a number of amusing album covers. None amused me more than "Nano" by then-10-year-old Emily. At least I think it was "Nano". It's possible it was Emily's World. Edited: I can confirm that it was "Nano". So I will. It was "Nano".
Both covers feature the same hairdo and outfit on young Emily, and the same alien (Nano). They're both gold. According to her record label, the album, Emily's World is (quote translated by Alta Vista Babel Fish) "an album of full merry dragging along Uptempo numbers".
While I haven't heard the whole album, I'm all about the first single, "Nano", and understand why Germany embraced it. The song, about a small green, super cool alien from Planet X, was a Top 40 hit in Germany, and stayed on their charts for 9 weeks. It also reached 54 on the Austrian singles charts.
The "Nano" video is not the greatest thing ever. The production values aren't very valuable. The part where Emily seems dazed, starts seeing planets, gyrates a bit on her bed, and then tries to fly away on it, may impress Pink Floyd fans, but how kid-friendly is it? Hopefully it will go over kids' heads so parents don't play Pink Floyd for them before they're ready for it in a desperate attempt to explain it.
I slept and it was deeply in the night there are I by bright shining waked up it was so super brightly, I could nix more see. There such a type stood, for that at one time was completely green. It had sheds and two feelers on the head, and ne ' machine on pressed it nen ' button. There it caught on completely slowly toward me to go. He said good evening, can you me verstehn? (I am nano) Nano of the planet X show us all your mad Alientricks. Nano of the planet X you is a superstar and I is your fan, super of cooles Alien. Nano of the planet X show us all your mad Alientricks. Nano of the planet X you is a superstar and I is your fan, super of cooles Alien. (3 x super of cooles Alien) He said comes and shows to me your beautiful world it saw so out as if it him well pleases here. He wanted to see everything nevertheless had little time. But that is not a problem with speed of light. In the deep jungle he spoke with the wild animals and in the desert reads he the flowers there flowers and everywhere in each country, at each place, called her: "nano, fly away never again." Nano of the planet X show us all your mad Alientricks. Nano of the planet X you is a superstar and I is your fan, super of cooles Alien. Nano of the planet X show us all your mad Alientricks. Nano of the planet X you is a superstar and I is your fan, super of cooles Alien. Remain please here, do not fly away not, from here. Your planet it is nevertheless so far (so far, so far, so far) Nano of the planet X show us all your mad Alientricks. Nano of the planet X you is a superstar and I is your fan, super of cooles Alien. Nano of the planet X show us all your mad Alientricks. Nano of the planet X you is a superstar and I is your fan, super of cooles Alien. (3 x super of cooles Alien)
According to BabelFish, the title of her second single, "Simsalabim" translates to "Simsalabim" in English. There's a 37-second promotional video clip for the song on her site and on her record label's YouTube channel, but *warning*, perhaps as part of some clever marketing strategy I'm not canny enough to understand, this clip is jarringly loud. In the video, Emily is a witch (the Sabrina the Teenage Witch/Bewitched kind, not the wiccan kind.) Maybe Nano gave her special powers.
Considerably more frightening than the prospect of aliens visiting girls in the middle of the night and turning them into witches is "Baby Lilly", a 3-D computer-animated baby, whose supposedly adorable songs are beloved in Germany and at least a couple other countries whose taste we now should question.
I'd risk annoying you by posting the rather bizarre video for "Hallo Papi" but "Baby Lilly" has a strict anti-embedding policy. Well... she doesn't exist outside computers (and our hearts), so really I blame her record label. Brilliant strategy, guys: try to limit the viewing of promotional videos as much as possible.
"Hallo Papi"'s wacky lyrics involve a phone call to Lilly's father and a barrage of questions. She has an impressive vocabulary for her age (one year old, according to her website). Translated excerpt:
Dad, dad, dad, why are flowers multicolored? Dad, dad, dad, why is the earth round? Can I see the stars only at night? Why is Mami so beautiful? Why only are bananas bent? At night have I fear, say to me why! Hello? Hello!? Hello? Hello!? Is Papi there? Come say already! Who is here? There who is? Hello? Hello!? Hello? Hello!? Is Papi there? Come say already! Who is here? There who is? Here is Lilly! Lilly which? Here is Lilly! Lilly how? Do not have as much asking as ever... Dad, dad, dad, who is the Nikolaus? Dad, dad, dad, where the sun comes up? Why with the car is "STOP called" red "!"? And say to me why is Himbeereis so coldly!? And why does a bird make "beeps"?
Yeah, why the hell does a bird make beeps? I mean, I assume she means Roadrunner, and that's a good question.
Lilly has a French cousin, Bebe Lilly, not to be confused with Italian relation Bebe Lilly. The French cousin seems to "borrow" her German counterpart's videos, releasing them with dubbed French vocals. Some of the German videos have been removed from YouTube, likely as part of their Anti-Promotional Strategery, so I guess it's fortunate to have the other Lillys' versions, even though they too can't be embedded.
Among German Lilly's fascinating discography is a song with a title that's likely mundane if you speak German, but amusing (or offensive, take your pick) in English. "Die Cowboys" translates to "The Cowboys", yawn. German Baby Lilly might have had second thoughts about the video; her record label promptly has it taken down if a user posts it (more anti-promotion at work?)
However, French Bebe Lilly has posted the French-dubbed peppy video, complete with hallucinating hippo, dancing robot, and angry Native American guy preventing a girl (presumably his daughter) from kissing a rabbit. The last part is followed by stereotypical Native American warrior sounds. Maybe Baby Lilly regretted stereotyping hippos, robots, and/or Native Americans. Maybe she just had second thoughts about going with a Pepto-Bismol-pink cowgirl outfit.
As frightening as some of the aforementioned German songs and videos are, at least they've (pretty much) stayed out of North America. That may not be the case for long.
Sony/BMG, the label who put spyware on CDs and paid radio stations to play songs, isn't out of ideas. Baby Lilly isn't the only popular 3-D computer-animated creature in Germany; they're bringing another one to the States. Wired warns that Schnuffel Bunny's "Snuggle Song" is on the way. If it does well in the U.S., you can bet other animated creatures' fake songs and albums will follow, possibly including Baby Lilly. The horror... the horror.
Unfortunately (?), Schnuffel Bunny's "Snuggle Song" is... kind of cute... even if I also think he kind of looks like a puppy in the video. His website is also better than the German or French baby characters' websites. You can send an e-card... I have no idea what it says, but I'm going to Mad Libs it and send it to the friend who told me about Schnuffel Bunny. There's also a karaoke version of the video, which they should put on the YouTube channel because that's kind of fun... it will get very annoying soon enough, but for the moment, it's kind of fun.
It's of some concern that in the picture he's gripping a big carrot, because on the e-card page Schnuffel Bunny, let's not kid ourselves, suggestively strokes a carrot. I'm just sayin'. He does. Perhaps you should consider hiring Wickie the Viking... I had no idea who he was until I saw his pictures on the character-booking website, but now I know he's the star of a Dutch cartoon series. Cool! Why don't they bring something like that to the States?
In addition to editing to confirm that the Emily recording at Amoeba was "Nano" (as of Wednesday night, it's still there), I've fixed the link for the Schnuffel Bunny video. I didn't mean to add another layer of confusion to the weirdness of Schnuffel Bunny by linking to a Spanish-language version, really.
Happy Record Store Day! Maybe one or more of these songs will tempt a purchase in your favorite independent record store...
I've pondered making a three-playlist series: sunrise/daytime, sunset/evening, and late night. That's still possible, but "sunset" is probably getting voted off the island. So first up is the sunrise/daytime playlist, which swings from electronica to word jazz within three songs. Lyrically, those songs move from "I smell your sweat on my skin/Breakfast in Vegas on cocaine and gin" to to "When everything's orangey goofy like this, trouble's a joke/Just an orangey joke", separated by a song about "Lazyitis", and preceded by PJ Harvey's murder ballad, "A Perfect Day Elise". Hopefully, it transitions smoothly; it isn't meant as flippant. There are just so many stellar dark day songs... I also find it interesting that sunrise, daylight, daytime, and related concepts have that duality of sparking cheerful/hopeful songs and dark/sad songs.
While this playlist is "partly cloudy", if you'd prefer a cheerful-sunny playlist, you could easily omit the songs you don't care for and add some happier sunny tunes.
A few suggestions:
- The bonus track to this playlist: Let's Active - Every Dog Has His Day (on Every Dog Has His Day) - Fountains of Wayne - "Radiation Vibe" (on Fountains of Wayne) - Aqualung - "Brighter Than Sunshine" (on Strange and Beautiful)... mentions sunshine as a contrast, so it's not that sunny, but it's nonetheless beautiful [disclaimer: see origin of blog's name.] - Estrume'n'tal - "Sol Si Do Si Mi Re La" - (on Surfme'n'tal and War of the Surf Guitars) ... "Sun" sneaks in the title, in a manner of speaking, in this Brazillian group's fizzy surf-punk-rock stomp. Shades of The Ramones, Shonen Knife, and The Ventures... and no wonder it's so much fun. It's also just over two minutes, in the Ramones spirit - get in, do a great song, get out... speaking of which, I'm getting out into the sun... so [/ado]
Hold on to the Sun:
1. 747s - Missed That Sun (on Zampano) 2. Joy Zipper - Out Of The Sun (on American Whip) 3. The Olivia Tremor Control - A New Day (on Black Foliage: Animation Music Volume One) 4. The Wailin' Jennys - Beautiful Dawn (on 40 Days) 5. Drive-By Truckers - Daylight (on A Blessing and a Curse) 6. The Webb Brothers - Some Velvet Morning (on Total Lee! The Songs of Lee Hazlewood) 7. PJ Harvey - A Perfect Day Elise (on Is This Desire?) 8. Praga Khan - Breakfast In Vegas (on Twentyfirstcenturyskin) 9. Happy Mondays - Lazyitis (on Bummed) 10. Ken Nordine - Orange (on Colors) 11. Pernice Brothers - There Goes The Sun (on Discover a Lovelier You) 12. Amy LaVere - Day Like Any (on This World Is Not My Home) 13. Lori Carson - Hold On to the Sun (on The Finest Thing) 14. Langhorne Slim - By The Time The Sun's Gone Down (on When the Sun's Gone Down)
Hey, kids, it's April 10th (yes, just barely. I know. I meant to post this much earlier. The dog ate my homework, etc.) That means it's Siblings Day! In the United States, that is, although I suppose there's nothing to stop non-Americans from appreciating their brothers and sisters today (okay, tonight. Geesh. I don't remember buying a ticket for a guilt trip.)
Naturally, what with freaking grown-ups running the world (into the ground), Siblings Day isn't quite as familiar as Mother's Day and Father's Day, so it's understandable if a lot of people haven't heard of the holiday or have questions about it.
The official Siblings Day FAQ, written by the non-profit Siblings Day Foundation, can hopefully answer all your questions about the holiday. However, it doesn't answer my question about whether any other countries have holidays similar to Siblings Day. Perhaps that's a Rarely Asked Question or it's frequently asked, but they always respond, "Ask a librarian."
The questions that did make it into the FAQ are pretty basic, starting with an explanation of the holiday — it's "a day to honor our brothers and sisters... an uplifting celebration to commemorate and honor individuals who were involved in our development and who have shaped our values and beliefs. This includes brothers and sisters who have passed on, as well as those who are still among us."
Now let's pause for a moment so some of us can think of a pleasant memory of a brother or sister who has passed away. Perhaps others can use the time to recoile in horror at the thought of our brother(s) and/or sister(s) shaping some of our beliefs.
As flawed as they are... as stubbornly, adorably unlike us in various ways, our brothers and sisters are usually also pretty cool and should be our natural allies, if only because they're the only people who truly understand our parents. I'm thankful that, growing up, I had someone to exchange assorted glances and witticisms with; I might not be as disdainful of authority or hilarious had I been an only child.
Although I do kind of like the idea of Siblings Day, I don't like the idea of giving Hallmark authority over it. The Siblings Day Foundation suggests celebrating in ways "similar to the practices customary on Mother's and Father's Days." Perhaps buy "a card or gift". Get your brother or sister some flowers, call them, or make a "social invitation".
My brother's an ocean away right now, and not too into cards or gifts anyway (plus, I recently saw What Would Jesus Buy?, and the pleas to "Stop Shopping!" are still ringing in my ears.) I'm sending him an e-card. There's a form to send an e-card at the official site, but it's sincere and straightforward; I'm going to look for something a little bit sarcastic and silly. I appreciate their at Hallmark.
Le Sport, formerly known as Eurosport, is currently known as a band that broke up last year. Their memory lives on through their sunny synth-pop. A half-dozen Le Sport songs are available for free at the website for their record label, Songs I Wish I Had Written. There are also songs by The LK, Regina, Unarmed Armies, and Moto Boy, whose debut eponymous album reminds me of a beach-ier Gene. Oskar Humlebo, who is recording as Moto Boy, has a beautiful voice, reminiscent of Gene's Martin Rossiter. Both the free downloads are excellent; do check them out.
"My Sister" is somewhat acerbic, and therefore, er—arguably—not 100% in the spirit of Siblings Day. Okay, if you're an only child, don't read this next part. Just skedaddle along.
Hatfield was probably just totally bitter because, as Melissa Ferrick pointed out in "The Juliana Hatfield Song", she "don't even have a sister". Was she "not amused" by the song because it hit too close to home, hmmm? Either way, the song's pretty great.
Only kids, I know you're still reading, because you never had siblings to keep you in check, so you don't follow directions. You rebels. So, this "Siblings Day" business is a total rip-off. It's nice and everything, don't get me wrong. It's just that we always asked for a "Kids Day", and it isn't fair to not get one. It especially isn't fair that some kids (or adults, whatever) get a holiday, and some get nothing. We still need a Kids Day, and it needs to be worded so that everyone is a kid for that day. How fun would that be? So get lobbying, guys; you're the ones most ripped off by the lack of a Kids Day.
~ faceless kids art is the "Brother and Sister" Willow Tree Figurine from Hallmark.com.
The mix of genres in this playlist might be considered pleasingly eclectic or a jumbled, odd mishmash. Let's compromise and call it a pleasingly odd mishmash. The idea was initially a playlist including songs with "yes", "no", and/or "maybe" in the title. It developed into an indecision playlist centered around romantic indecision. Alas, that shift left out some great yes/no/maybe songs that didn't really fit in, but I quite like how the playlist progressed, and the more expansive theme let in some wonderful songs.
Right away, I knew I wanted to use "Undecided" and "Shadow of a Doubt" to bookend the playlist. The songs essentially provided a beginning and ending for a sort of story. Some buzzy songs with faster tempos are good for providing a story with either a sense of rising action or a sense of confusion like that experienced when you're weighing a major romantic decision. (Might depend on how you feel about the songs in question.) Slower songs are good for either being moody and wistful or lusty. So, yeah, from monkeys to mishmash, why not?
Yes, No, Maybe - An Indecision Playlist:
1. Justin McRoberts - Undecided (on Intersections) 2. Radio 4 - Absolute Affirmation (on Stealing of a Nation) 3. Leona Naess - Yes, It's Called Desire (on Leona Naess) 4. Mogwai - Yes! I Am A Long Way From Home (on Mogwai Young Team) 5. Electrelane - If Not Now, When? (on Axes) 6. The Chords - Maybe Tomorrow (on So Far Away) 7. The Futureheads - Yes/No (on News and Tributes) 8. Mad Science Fair - No Room For Error (on For a Better Tomorrow) 9. Okkervil River - No Key, No Plan (on Black Sheep Boy Appendix) 10. Kate Rusby (with Roddy Woomble) - No Names (on The Girl Who Couldn't Fly) 11. Dolorean - Heather, Remind Me How This Ends (on You Can't Win) 12. Silent Gray - Could This Mean Maybe? (on Insomniac's Dream and Cafe Bleu. Yes, there's really no accent mark in "Cafe". Don't ask me why.) 13. Beth Orton - Shadow Of A Doubt (on Comfort of Strangers)
Justin McRoberts is currently touring in support of his new album, Deconstruction. See his website for tour dates from April to (at least) August.
Radio 4 plays The Knitting Factory in New York City on April 17th, with Young Lords opening. The first song from their forthcoming, free, digital-only EP is now available at RCRD LBL.
At the moment, Leona Naess' website is down Assuming she's not going on strike until someone fixes it or she can fix it herself, she'll probably perform as scheduled at her upcoming shows, which include an April 6th London show at Blue Flowers (at 7:30 PM) and a May 21st show at New York City's Cake Shop (at 10:30 PM).
Mogwaiis set to perform Mogwai Young Team (which includes "Yes, I Am A Long Way From Home") for the lucky crowd at the Summercase Festival this July. So far, they have a pair of shows scheduled before that: April 26th - 3:00 PM - Tramway in Glasgow and May 12th - 7:00 PM - Queen Elizabeth Hall in London.
On a much lighter band-schedule: Electrelane (who late last year announced an "indefinite hiatus") and The Chords (who were one of those old-timey groups from the olden days of barbershop quartets and mods who rode cute little scooters and spent a lot of money on shoes. I don't know how much money the barbershop quartets spent on their shoes or what their mode of transportation was. This Chords website has several free songs, but you might find yourself longing for some sort of extensive shoe photo-blog.
The Futureheads new album, This is Not the World, will be released next month, as will its first single "Radio Heart". The band has announced a May/June UK tour.
Mad Science Fair and their record label, Parasol have made a couple of songs from their album For A Better Tomorrow (including "No Room For Error") available for free download.
Okkervil River's website has a front page that stubbornly refused to let me past, whether I used Firefox Beta or the dreaded IE. However, it will let me directly access their news page. They're on tour in the US... check out their news page for the details.
English folk singer Kate Rusby is in the midst of extensive touring in support of Awkward Annie, released last month.
To best support Dolorean, they ask that you buy their music directly from them, rather than from, say, their former label. Bandmember Jay Clarke has some kinda artsy, intellectual blog, FYI, if you're into that kinda thing.
Silent Gray is a mystery wrapped in an enigma... they might have changed their name, but I'm not sure.
Beth Orton just... finished a US tour? Is it over now? Her website is ever-so devoid of information. She was touring through March, and now she isn't, as far as I know... Oh, let's just say "yes", her tour is over! (If she starts again, I'm calling it a new tour.)
~ The art at the top of the post is by John William Godward, and titled "Yes or No?"
"Pizza is awesome. Sharing copyrighted material is not awesome."
The otherwise pretty non-fiendish Electronic Frontier Foundation hasn't put the text of this afternoon's hilarious prank newsletter on their website, forcing me to quote it in full. Oh, well. That's okay. A brief sample:
This week, the NSA announced SpySpace.com -- a social networking site developed by the NSA itself. SpySpace.com will allow ordinary Americans to instantly share their private data with the government -- eliminating the NSA's reliance on cumbersome requirements such as warrants.
The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) raised the national threat level from 'High' to 'Severe' this weekend after a senior official stumbled upon Wikipedia.org, a popular online open-content encyclopedia.
~ Cory Doctorow Takes Vow of Silence Tracking services report Internet bandwidth usage shrinks 30%.
The whole newsletter - a great read, from a great organization:
EFFector Vol. 21, No. 12a April 1, 2008 editor@eff.org
A Publication of the Electronic Frontier Foundation ISSN 1062-9424
In the 666th Issue of EFFector: * EFF Uncovers Congressional Listening Program * EFF Announces Plans to Move Offices to Armored Zeppelin * Savage Threatens EFF Over Paradoxical Parody * Homeland Security Official: Wikipedia Larger Threat Than Terrorism, Dixie Chicks Combined * Wikileaks Admin Credentials Leaked Onto Wikileaks * RIAA Study: Music Piracy More Common Than High-Fives, Bicycle Trips * Comcast VP Slumber Injures Two, Frightens Dozens * Telecoms Add to Immunity Demands or Will Refuse to Comply With Court Orders * Spy Agency Announces New Social Network Site * Comcast Testing Embedded Cameras in Your Living Room * miniLinks (5): Federal Agencies Launch Stopthestopthespying.org * Administrivia and EULA
For more information on EFF activities & alerts: http://www.eff.org/
Make a donation and become an EFF member today! http://eff.org/support/
Tell a friend about EFF: http://action.eff.org/site/Ecard?ecard_id=1061
effector: n, Computer Sci. A device for producing a desired change.
Elected Officials Caught Voting on Basis of the Results of Monitoring
San Francisco - Shocking new evidence presented to the media by the Electronic Frontier Foundation today indicates that elected officials may have been monitoring the opinions of millions of citizens and using the data collected to directly determine how they should vote in Congress.
The civil liberties organization made its claim today after the House's recent vote to deny retroactive immunity to telecommunication companies.
EFF's technical experts claim that this unusual voting behavior was driven by a massive program of surveilling their own constituents' communications.
"There's no way they would have voted this way without outsider information," said Cindy Cohn, EFF's Legal Director. "We have direct evidence showing that Congressional officials opened the letters of constituents, read their email and, -- with the craven complicity of the major telecommunications companies -- recorded phone calls left by thousands of innocent citizens. Having dragnetted the contents of those calls, they decided to vote down telecom immunity -- an act explicitly proscribed by expert industry lobbyists and Congress' own traditions and standards."
Cohn was particularly disturbed at the particular target of this surveillance. "Whistleblowers within the Congressional leadership have indicated to me that a large number of these intercepted calls came from EFF's own membership."
When contacted, most alleged victims said they had no proof they were being monitored. But some confessed they had become suspicious after the House of Representatives voted to keep telecom immunity out of their immunity bill earlier this month.
"When I heard about the immunity bill, I have to say that I picked up my phone and called Washington," said one EFF member, who said she wished to remain anonymous. "Seconds after calling my Congressman's number, I heard clicking, then there was this muffled voice. I got the creepiest sensation that I was being listened to. A day later my representative voted exactly the way I had said he should. Right down to the word. It was like he was in my head. You think that was a coincidence?"
Legal experts suggest that, while unusual, Congress using evidence collected through the wholesale datamining of constituent communications may not be unconstitutional. "Our founding fathers did not prohibit the federal use of evidence gathered from the mass surveillance of popular sentiment per se," said constitutional lawyer Mike Godwin, "although it has been traditionally a power used only under extremely rare conditions, such as close elections."
* EFF Announces Plans to Move Offices to Armored Zeppelin
Maiden Voyage to France and Japan Planned to Liberate ISPs
San Francisco The Electronic Frontier Foundation announced its purchase of a $16.5 million dollar armored zeppelin, which will become the new EFF headquarters in 2009.
"We felt that our organization had outgrown its Mission District office space and that it was time to branch out into a new direction," says EFF's Executive Director, Shari Steele.
The new armor-plated, floating offices have been funded by anticipated revenues from Hepting v. AT&T, the class-action lawsuit filed by EFF in 2006 on behalf of AT&T customers, alleging that the telecom giant had violated the law by collaborating with the National Security Agency (NSA) in its massive, illegal program to wiretap and data-mine Americans' communications. Sources on the EFF's board of directors have been quoted as cackling, "Once our trial lawyers get our hands on that money, we will be unstoppable!"
The hydrogen-powered floating office will also help to increase EFF's international presence. The EFF office's first missions will be to travel to France and Japan where ISPs in those two countries have given in to pressure from the music and record industries to institute a "three strikes" rule, which would throw customers offline, possibly permanently, if rightsholders report that they have been infringing on their copyrights. The zeppelin will release an army of genetically-engineered winged monkeys, which will patiently explain why this scheme deprives Internet users of due process and their privacy before biting any nearby copyright maximalists and infecting them with rabies.
"Our new office heralds an exciting new chapter in the history of this organization," says EFF's Legal Director, Cindy Cohn. "And I will never have to worry about finding a parking space in the morning."
For most Americans, April 1 marks a day of jokes, laughs and smiles. Not so for grumpy radio-commentator Michael Savage, who checked his email Tuesday morning to find he had been parodied in the Electronic Frontier Foundation's weekly newsletter, "EFFector."
"The only thing worse than losing my [admittedly] frivolous lawsuit to that bunch of commie-loving hippies is having to read fake, silly quotes of mine they wrote," remarks Savage. "It's un-American, plain and simple, and I will complain about it on-air until my core constituency has even less respect for me."
Savage entered the limelight recently when he attempted to misuse copyright law to silence a non-profit critic, the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR).
"Michael Savage's frivolous and baseless lawsuit is a direct attack on First Amendment freedoms and on any citizen's right to comment on public issues," said CAIR Legal Counsel Nadhira Al-Khalili. "His suit is an abuse of the judicial system and a transparent attempt to punish those who challenge his hate-filled rhetoric."
Savage responded by saying, "Bunch o' homos."
EFF spokesperson Rebecca Jeschke had no comment.
For more on Savage's misuse of copyright law: http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2008/01/another-year-another-attempt-misuse-copyright-law-silence-critic
For this complete post: http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
* Homeland Security Official: Wikipedia Larger Threat Than Terrorism, Dixie Chicks Combined
The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) raised the national threat level from 'High' to 'Severe' this weekend after a senior official stumbled upon Wikipedia.org, a popular online open-content encyclopedia.
"There is enough information at that website to allow anyone to know anything," said Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff in a statement Wednesday. "Such access poses a significant threat to the well-being and integrity of this administration."
An unnamed senior official became aware of the vast amounts of information online when he walked past his son's computer and saw the Wikipedia entry, "Project for the New American Century." He immediately edited the page, deleting the article before his son returned.
"Knowledge is power, and if the sum of human knowledge falls into the wrong hands, we risk a disaster incomprehensibly larger than Sept. 11. It'd be like Sept. 11 and the Dixie Chicks combined. Times a million."
The DHS announced plans to work with major telecoms to prevent American access to the popular website.
Wikipedia admins have been working overtime to restore the deleted page.
For this complete post: http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
Havoc ensued Friday evening at whistleblowing website Wikileaks.org after an individual anonymously leaked the superuser account and password for the site's MediaWiki installation.
Administrators were able to regain control early Sunday morning and spent the remainder of the day removing phallic imagery nefariously dispersed throughout the site.
* RIAA Study: Music Piracy More Common Than High-Fives, Bicycle Trips
Findings from a two-year study released Monday by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) indicate that illicit music downloads among young adults are more popular than PB & J, high-fives, and all-around good times combined.
"With such concrete evidence as to the true extent of music downloading, I think it's clear we have an obligation to push forward and properly reprimand the assailants," said RIAA President Cary Sherman in a statement Monday.
The two-year study collected data from a sample of over 5,000 college students across the country. Individuals were asked to record the number of times a day they did a variety of common, college-aged activities including, but not limited to: making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, doing homework, throwing high-fives, rockin' out, riding bicycles, getting hyphy/crunk, eating pizza, skateboarding, being kidnapped, just chillin', enlisting in armed services, and using LimeWire.
"70% of individuals noted they use LimeWire more often than they eat pizza." Continued Sherman, "That's just not right. When I was in school, I ate pizza all-day everyday. Pizza is awesome. Sharing copyrighted material is not awesome."
"At least the results of this study seem slightly more accurate than the other studies we've seen," says EFF senior staff attorney Fred von Lohmann via email. "I'll give them that much."
University students have traditionally been targeted by the RIAA for copyright infringement, beginning with the release of Napster, the first widespread file-sharing service. Peer-to-peer proponents fear this data will lead to another overwhelming tide of lawsuits aimed at universities and their students.
For more about the Motion Picture Association of America's revision of faulty, secret research results: http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2008/01/mpaa-s-error-oops-college-students-aren-t-so-bad-after-all
For this complete post: http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
Eyewitnesses report that Comcast executive vice president David L. Cohen dozed off while delivering his Powerpoint presentation at a Stanford-hosted FCC hearing on Friday.
"He was up there talking about packets and tubes, and then he gradually began mumbling and leaning into the screen, eventually falling and knocking it over," reports second-year law student, Travis Pazin.
Onlookers jumped to their feet as the 72-inch projection screen fell from the stage, injuring two and frightening many others. Visibly shaken, Cohen picked himself up and began speaking as if nothing had happened. A drool stain adorned his American flag tie.
Comcast representatives were invited to the Stanford hearing to discuss the company's "network management practices." Public outcry erupted last month when it was discovered that citizens were denied entry to a public FCC hearing because Comcast paid employees to fill seats. Several employees were seen sleeping during the hearing, while others loudly applauded boring parts of Comcast's presentation.
"I really don't see what the big deal is. The Internet is boring as hell," commented Comcast service technician, Nicholas Breen.
A source within the FCC indicated that a third hearing is being scheduled for May, this time with loud music and lots of coffee.
For this complete post: http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
* Telecoms Add to Immunity Demands or Will Refuse to Comply With Court Orders
Representatives of the telecommunications industry submitted to Congress a list of demands that "must be met" before they would comply with surveillance orders. The telecommunications carriers had previously threatened to not cooperate with future surveillance unless Congress provided retroactive immunity for their cooperation with Government surveillance programs.
While carrier cooperation is required by court orders, the Administration took up the telecom industry's cause, asserting that a failure to let companies like AT&T and Verizon off the hook would "undermine the private sector's willingness to cooperate with the Intelligence Community." The list of demands, which appeared to be crafted from pasted scraps meticulously sliced from magazine covers, included demands like eliminating all FCC regulations on telephone calls, multi-billion dollar government subsidies, and exemption from anti-trust laws.
"When the Senate actually gave in on retroactive immunity," said a knowledgeable telecommunications lobbyist speaking on condition of anonymity, "we had to ask ourselves 'why stop there?'"
Industry sources say that a new list is being compiled in case Congress accedes to today's demands. According to one industry source, a proposal to require Congressional leaders to kneel and kiss telecom executives' rings did not make the first cut but is under consideration for the next round.
For this complete post: http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
Move over Facebook and MySpace -- the NSA is now in the social networking business.
This week, the NSA announced SpySpace.com -- a social networking site developed by the NSA itself. SpySpace.com will allow ordinary Americans to instantly share their private data with the government -- eliminating the NSA's reliance on cumbersome requirements such as warrants.
SpySpace.com allows users to upload personal data about who their friends are, what sites they visit, what books and newspapers they are reading, and where they live directly into a massive database controlled by the NSA. Messages sent though the site will be automatically copied -- without warrants -- to a secure room controlled by the NSA. Third party apps make it easy to tag your friends as "suspicious" or "unpatriotic."
Director of National Intelligence Mike McConnell hailed the site's potential. "Since Congress has so far failed to protect telecoms against lawsuits, wholesale domestic spying is more difficult than ever. SpySpace will give our agents the access they need to protect Americans in their homes -- all legally, and all without warrants or other restrictions."
SpySpace apologist Richard Esguerra expressed enthusiasm for the new site. "I think it's neat. I'm not doing anything wrong, so I don't have anything to hide. And if I can save the government the few seconds it takes to get a warrant, I'm helping my country fight evildoers."
The use of social networking sites has exploded in recent years, with millions of people making private information public by uploading data about their social networks, consumption habits, and travel patterns.
For more about social networking sites and the growing potential for privacy violations: http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2007/09/myspace-and-facebook-plan-use-personal-data-targeted-advertising
For this complete post: http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
* Comcast Testing Embedded Cameras in Your Living Room
In an interview with a blogger, Comcast's Senior Vice-President of User Experience, Gerard Kunkel, revealed tests of new, built-in camera technology that recognizes TV viewers in the room, then uses that information to deliver program recommendations and targeted advertising.
Kunkel hinted that the system could recognize when children were present, offering parental controls or automatically displaying an episode of Dora the Explorer or the Backyardigans. Kunkel attempted to allay privacy fears by saying that the system was not based on facial recognition. Instead, it distinguishes between members of a household by recognizing body forms.
Kunkel ended the interview saying, "In Comcastic world, television watches YOU!"
For more about Comcast's camera technology trials: http://newteevee.com/2008/03/18/comcast-cameras-to-start-watching-you/
For this complete post: http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
* miniLinks The week's noteworthy news, compressed.
~ Federal Agencies Launch Stopthestopthespying.org U.S. law enforcement agencies start grassroots campaign to counter grassroots campaign. http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
~ Telecom Officials Get Flu Shots Shots include the only immunity the telecoms should get. http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
~ Every Last Spoon In EFF Offices Found Bent Paranormalist activity detected around San Francisco's Mission District. http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
~ Cory Doctorow Takes Vow of Silence Tracking services report Internet bandwidth usage shrinks 30%. http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01
~ Google Selling Services to the Government A small group at Google sells search and information sharing tools to federal agencies. (Really.) http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/03/30/BUQLUAP8L.DTL
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Thanks to the interweb, and an army of helpful wiki editors, this year's April Fool's Day pranks are being lovingly compiled for posterity.
They haven't yet added this year's annual prank by Depeche Mode, which was pulled, as always, a day early (someone will likely add it soon.) The following questionable, but nonetheless adorable, news item was added to the group's website on March 31st:
When the band were recording their "Black Celebration" album, the boys took a break, and recorded a full album of "oldies". Named "Toast Hawaii" (after Fletch's favorite food item at the recording studio cafeteria, and later used as the name of Fletch's record label), the album has not been heard outside of the "inner circle" of Depeche Mode's friends since the 1986 recording...until now.
All copies of the album were thought lost, until Mr Gore found a cassette copy of "Toast Hawaii" in a box of old cassettes. After extensive remastering, the project is ready to be released.
Following recent web releases by bands such as Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails, the "Toast Hawaii" album will be a web release. Starting April 8th, fans will be able to purchase multiple formats of the album:
$10: The full album in your preferred digital format (AAC, MP3, FLAC, WAV) $20: The full album in digital format, along with a copy of the album on compact disc, autographed by Fletch. $40: The full album in digital format, along with a copy of the album on compact disc, not autographed by Fletch.
A sample of "Tutti Frutti" is available below. A full micro-site will be up within a few days. Stay tuned!
Tutti Frutti - 30 second mp3 sample
(The MP3 sample, sadly does not work.)
If only it was true...
A few of my other favorite pranks so far, all listed on the Wiki page:
• Google Australia's gday MATE (Machine Automated Temporal Extrapolation): "We can use this technique to predict almost anything on the web – tomorrow’s share price movements, sports results or news events. Plus, using language regression analysis, Google can even predict the actual wording of blogs and newspaper columns, 24 hours before they’re written!"
• Along those lines, Gmail custom time purportedly lets you send mail from the past.
• Improv Everywhere's terrible 90s-flashback site redesign. It's like being trapped in an episode of Ally McBeal or Eli Stone.
