MP3s are shared to try to convince people they should like the same music I do (As in... "then she told a friend, and she told a friend...) Of course if you love music, you should (responsibly) spend lots of your disposable income on music, concerts, and merch. If you are an artist or from a label, and would like a song removed, please e-mail me at kofis.hat [at] gmail [dot] com and I'll promptly do so.
Like bananas? How about chocolate? Well, you won't find the taste of either in the new Starbucks Vivanno smoothie nonetheless called Banana Chocolate. If you enjoy chalky tastes, it might be up your alley. Otherwise, it's best avoided. "Vivanno" is Italian for "life", but this flavor at least deserves a quick death. (One other flavor, Orange Mango Banana, has been introduced.)
In the Banana Chocolate Vivanno, while there's no discernible banana flavor, there is a taste dimly reminiscent of a wan, distant relative of a cheap cocoa (that would be "bittersweet cocoa", per Starbucks, but this seems like calling moonshine Champagne.) It would be sad if a scientist, in a future without cacao trees, tried to approximate a chocolate or banana-chocolate smoothie and came up with anything close to this drink.
Each Banana Chocolate Vivanno contains a banana, but Starbucks manages to conceal its taste with their "own proprietary whey protein & fiber powder". Yum. That does explain the somewhat gritty/powdery texture, and why the drink is more like some kind of chalky protein powder mixture (is there whey chalk?) than anything else.
Each contains 21 grams of protein and 6 grams of fiber but that's only if you can manage to finish it. I came nowhere close.
If you register a Starbucks card, you'll get a coupon to get a free Vivanno today or tomorrow. The Orange Mango Banana could be better. Like the Banana Chocolate it contains a banana, 2% milk, ice... and that damned "proprietary whey protein & fiber powder". Maybe it makes all the difference that instead of cocoa, it adds "all natural Naked® Juice made exclusively for Starbucks" (don't even try to get your paws on it, kitten, lest mighty lion Starbucks claw you to bits. Or give you free Banana Chocolate Vivanno smoothies for life.)
7/30 Update: today, from 4 to 7 PM, once again Starbucks is giving away free Vivannos -- only in certain California stores; Starbucks in other states will give away the drinks on various different days next month. Today stores in Los Angeles are also giving away the new Sorbetto drink.
"Nike": Always Say "Thank You" After "Requesting" Exploitation Rights
Snapped last night in Hollywood on Vine Street, across the street from Webcor's mammoth W Hotel and Residences construction project: "Nike"'s "friendly" warning about filming in the area. Unexplained: the difference, if any, between "Nike" and Nike. Unphotographed: the bottom line, "Thank you for your cooperation." Would "cooperation" be more accurate?
Via Big Contrarian, a particularly tasteful item from Lindsay Lohan's new clothing line: "Mr President" leggings with leather knee patches. Lest you think Lohan's a politics buff poking a little fun at the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal with this salacious item (albeit rather belatedly), think again! Her 6126 collection takes its name from Marilyn Monroe's birthday (June 1st 1926), and it's Monroe who was Lohan's "inspiration for the collection".
Certainly when you think of either Monroe or Lohan, you think: incredibly tacky, overpriced leggings! Unless $132 seems reasonable for leggings these days. Pre-order from Shop Intuition for "end of August delivery"... if you must.
The early standout of 6126, though, is the ankle glove. Now here's an innovative design; it takes the eternally-fashionable look of the leg warmer, slouches it down to cover the ankle, and loses its warmth by changing the fabric to a blend of lycra and modal (a type of rayon).
As the world grows increasingly warmer, perhaps such fabric switches will enable us to comfortably keep wearing beloved classics such as leg warmers. Production in every color of the rainbow, and in unusual, fashion-forward patterns, may be inevitable, but has not yet been announced. So far only a leopard-patterned ankle glove ($42 for "late July delivery") can be pre-ordered, as if to test how popular such a clever, fresh design might be, even in a tired old pattern.
Incredible Hulk & Black Ice Slurpees: Consumed, Survived
Anyone else pick up a free Slurpee directly after a dentist appointment today? I usually prefer water or tea, but it's hard to resist the lure of a free Slurpee in the flavor(s) of my choice. I was particularly intrigued after spotting a small ad for an "Incredible Hulk" flavor. What would a Hulk Slurpee taste like? The ad, perhaps sensing an opportunity to create an excited, confused buzz, left it to the imagination.
The flavors at the 7-Eleven I stopped at included Coca-Cola, the Incredible Hulk (hooray!), Peach-Mango, Black Ice (another new one), and Super Sour Watermelon. I asked the clerk what the mysterious Incredible Hulk Slurpee tastes like. "I don't know," he said. "I haven't tried it." He reacted with a bit of surprise to my query, as though it was a slightly odd question. "I think it might taste like lime," I suggested. "Because it's green. But I don't know what 'The Hulk' would taste like." He said nothing. Unfazed, I asked if he knows what Black Ice tastes like. "I don't know. I don't drink Slurpees." That's fair enough, but doesn't corporate provide franchises with information about what they're selling? If so, they might as well read it. Press releases and other corporate-authored materials are awesome.
I went for a Hulk/Black Ice combo, filling the small cup with alternating swooshes of pale green and very-dark-grape-colored Slurpee. I quickly realized there were no lids for the elfin cups but took a straw, thanked the clerk, and left.
"Hulk", I can report", tastes mostly like slushy sugar... it's mildly tangy, sweet, and has a slight lime taste. According to the official 411 on the drink, it turns out it's a) officially called "Radiation Rush" (yikes!) and b) "flavored like a tropical fruit smoothie made with strawberries, pineapple, lime and a twist of guarana". Wow, it's retroactively much more delicious now. Who knew the Hulk would inspire a tropical delight as a marketing tie-in? I would have predicted something edgier... I guess when you think "The Incredible Hulk", you think "I'd like a twist of guarana with my tropical smoothie, my good man!"
Black Ice is supposed to be "the first totally black Slurpee!" And, beware, 7-Eleven claims it "will make you howl at the moon." So far I have felt no temptation to do so, but that's not to say I had no physical reaction to the stuff.
It does taste grape-y, as I thought it would once I realized it's a sort of midnight-grape color. As a lovely bonus, it stains lips and teeth. It's very sweet, overly so to the extent that I started coughing while drinking it. I wasn't drinking it too fast, and didn't get brain freeze... There was no howling, but there was a sort of visceral reaction to the stuff, and as I type this, I feel an unpleasant, slightly sticky sensation at the back of my throat.
Pictured above, for size comparisons, the Slurpee cup next to a 1-pint bottle of water (with the label removed, for some reason, though I'm mentioning the Slurpee® registered trade mark dozens of times.)
While the issue of what city buys the most Slurpees is arguable, Winnipeg has held the Slurpee World Title for nine years in a row. Detroit buys the most Slurpees in the U.S. It's interesting that a city with a warm climate doesn't sell the most. Not fascinating, but interesting. Although I bet that 7-Eleven clerk would not find it even mildly intriguing.
As promised, here's a belated Canada Day playlist, followed by some other Great White Northern sounds and such.
Canadian Music Playlist:
1. Andrew Vincent & the Pirates - "One, Two, Three" (on I Love The Modern Way) Rollicking, gleeful count-along pop/rock earworm. It's an original, but you wouldn't know it from some of the lyrics. "Hell/You know you kiss too swell" sounds suspiciously modern only because of that darn "Hell". (Their use of "Pops" also sounds old-fashioned to my American ears, but I hold out, with affection, the slim possibility that it's a common Canadian word. In Canada, trees contain delicious maple syrup! So really, it seems like a land of enchantment where anything's possible. Several more MP3s from Andrew Vincent & the Pirates are available. (All MP3s on the playlist are posted below for play and/or download.)
2. Eric Eggleston Band - "20/20" (one of two singles from This Modern Life, the band's 2004 debut album). The other single, "Racking My Brain" is now a free MP3 at the band's website. 20/20 is initially propelled by rapid-fire vocal delivery of sometimes irreverent lyrics propelled by both hooky, immediately likeable, music and irreverant lyrics
Many shows are scheduled, including the unofficial launch for second album Food Water Compass, which has been officially booked for July 7th at 10 PM at Zaphod Beeblebrox, a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-themed nightclub in Ottawa. Nice try with the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-themed nightclub, Canada, but I still bleed red, white, and blue.
3. Hilotrons - "Emergency Street" (on Happymatic) Lovable, hand-clapping, bleep-laden, announcer-enhanced, mega-catchy robo-electro. Possibly robo-electro-punk... it's just so cute I hesitate to add the "-punk". There are shades of Devo, "Monster Mash", and seemingly a cornucopia of science-fiction influences.
The band's own website is darn cute, but hasn't yet been outfitted with info about their latest album, Happymatic, which is on the Long List for the 2008 Polaris Music Prize. The Short List—and, yes, they do call it that—will be announced July 7th. Listen via streaming music faux-card and decide for yourself whether the music is Long-List-worthy. Or visit the website of their label's site to snag the Hilotrons MP3 on offer there (as well as the one posted below), and make a snap judgment! And of course, you can always buy the album (but then you knew that.)
4. The Meligrove Band - "Before We Arrive" (on Let It Grow) Bouncy, swingy alt-pop, a pretty and summery tune. See their website for a couple more MP3s
5. Projektor - "Foxfire" (on Red Wolf Glass) Richly evocative rock with gorgeously layered instrumentation and passionately delivered pleas and gripes. Another MP3 is available at the group's website.
6. Readymade - "No Longer Ortona" (on On Point and Red) Beautiful, sweetly sung shoegazery. Gently clings to the memory. Many more Readymade MP3s are available at their website, including a strong My Bloody Valentine cover.
7. Women - "Group Transport Hall" (on Women, out July 8th.) Oh, Chad VanGaalen, what were you and your bandmates thinking when you decided "Women" was a good band name? Maybe "Let's make it hard for people to find information about us online." Or perhaps "It's funny because we are, in fact, not women." The first may be true, the second, not so much.... by which I don't mean they really are women (as far as I know), but that it isn't funny, especially because it's all been done. I wish they gave more consideration to all the terrible, inevitable headlines to come: "Women Rock!", "They Are Women, Hear Them Roar"... all the painful writing... "Do you like Women? I sure do!" They anticipated, or should have anticipated a high level of such suckage, and therefore they deserve to be referred to as the Band Known As Women. Or the Band Called Women, either way.
Fortunately, their music is a lot better than their name... though I haven't heard the whole album yet so perhaps I shouldn't speak too soon! So far, so good anyway. "Group Transport Hall", for instance, is a well-constructed, sunrise-bright pop-fizzy song that sounds something like *ahem* American singer-songwriter Matthew Sweet. For another track from the Band Called Women and music from VanGaalen, visit Flemish Eye Records.
8. The Heavy Blinkers - "The Night and I Are Still So Young" (on The Night and I Are Still So Young) Dreamy song with a heavy late-60s-pop fringe (I picture a fringed, beaded lamp... in connection with the song, that is, not just in general.)
9. Plumtree - "Was That All" (on This Day Won't Last At All)
As a bonus, the title of this song (like the Heavy Blinkers one) provides a little in-joke as a complaint about the list running slightly shorter than usual. More importantly, it's a great, —don't-write-sassy—spirited break-up song:
"Go, there's no time to waste We can't get to another place With this Me and you Was it all that you thought it would be? Did I set you free? Was it all that you thought it would be?"
Plumtree's second album, released in 1998, was called Predicts the Future. This song is from their 2000 follow-up, titled This Day Won't Last At All. Not long after its release, the bandmates made like a tree and left... the Plumtree monniker in their past. Maybe they plan in-jokes years out, maybe it's a coincidence.
That awesome, if not unimpeachable source of information, Wikipedia, provides where-are-they-now updates on the band (and uses the punny headline "Split" in reference to their break-up.)
* Free Inbreds MP3s, including album tracks, alternate versions, live songs, and remixes.
Ron Sexsmith's gorgeous Exit Strategy For the Soul was released to Canadians on Canada Day. I'm not saying the release schedule for other countries was based on comparative proximity of geography and/or kinship, but I can't rule it out. The "street date", is July 8th in the U.S. and July 21st in the "the U.K. and Europe." An Australian release date is "coming soon".
*Note: CDs may not actually be available on streets. If they are, be suspicious if the cover is smeary and/or the price seems unusually low. The U.K. is part of Europe. "Soon" is relative and sort of vague but better than never.*
- Bonus track options: If you live in the U.S., the U.K., or another part of Europe, and pre-order the CD, Get to Know your various and sundry bonus track options:
- Pre-order from Yep Roc Records and get a DRM-free bonus MP3, "Too Good to Be True". The first 100 pre-orders also get autographed CDs.
- Pre-order from Sexsmith's website store and "immediately" get "Rain On The Roof" as a bonus track. (Is it DRM-free? Maybe!) Plus, "a chance to win one of 100 autographed copies of the CD booklet, signed by Ron himself."
- The U.K. and Europe can get "Seems to Me" as a bonus track if they pre-order through iTunes (Canada could too, but it's too late for them to pre-order now.)
- "Here Comes My Baby" (a Cat Stevens cover) is available to "all territories" "to use at whatever time they want as a non-exclusive bonus track."
Tour dates for summer through fall are being added to his itinerary. Sexsmith also has a new official YouTube channel, which so far has a couple live in-studio performances recorded last month. On the way: "all the official uncut music videos Ron has made over the years as well as some special treats."
Fun fact: if you take too long with a Canada Day post, the timing goes from merely belated to downright unpatriotic... can't very well wax poetic about the music of another land today, whether (or not!) it sounds all wicked and maple-soaked.
Today: U.S.A. A-OK!
"When my family arrived in this country four months ago, we spoke no English and had no money in our pockets. Today, we own a nationwide chain of wheel-balancing centers. Where else, but in America, or possibly Canada, could our family find such opportunity? That's why, whenever I see the Stars and Stripes, I will always be reminded of that wonderful word—flag!"
— Trong Van Din's essay "USA A-OK" from The Simpsons episode "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington" (back when the show was good, 30 or 40 years ago.)
On Deck: Canadian music. British art. American reviews a go-go.
Tonight, fellow Americans (and everyone, really), be safe, and look out for the animals in your life, who most likely aren't sensitized to noisy fireworks (not that doing so is necessarily a great idea, yikes).
